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Dude is an idiot. Should’ve just find other couples who wants to swap.
There’s an episode of South Park like this where Randy and his wife go on Only Fans. She’s making a ton of money within a month, he is obliviously not.
My wife and I actually met because of this kind of thing. Not only that, but the relationship I was in before meeting her ended because my partner at the time decided that she wanted an open relationship exactly long enough to get involved with one of my friends and then leave me for him.
Her late spouse did the whole forced poly/open relationship crap and I was one of the people they started talking to. It’s actually seeing how her ex treated me that let her finally realize she was in an abusive marriage and put her foot down and leave. We’ve been together 10 years now, married for almost 8.
That’s kind of awesome.
I’ve been poly for almost 5-6 years now and I do better than most, but nowhere near as well as women.
I have some women friends who see several men a night.
It’s like that retort when people ask why being a slut is viewed negatively while being a stud isn’t, it’s easy to be a slut, it’s not easy to be a stud.
“years of pleading” for an open relationship is kind of a flag. Maybe not a red one, but certainly a warning of some sort.
Also, not to repeat myself, but I think a lot of guys are kind of bad at dating and dating apps. There’s a lot of self sabotage and then blaming external forces. A message of “hey” isn’t going to win any prizes, and yet that’s all some people can muster.
Having to plead with your partner for years about something you consider to be quite important to the relationship (like opening it to other people) is weird in general.
If you’re having to harangue them like that, it seems like a sign that the two of you might not be compatible with each other.
Yea, I understand hey it’s not a way to start, yet women are waiting for something smart and interesting in the first couple messages, otherwise they will ghost and go for someone else. With a friend you can say “hey”, but with a woman on a dating site you should go “Was your father thief ? cause you stole my heart!” and then go showcase your reach hobbies.
I might be wrong, but do tell me.While I don’t disagree, many of the women I’ve seen on dating apps have about as much personality as a cardboard box, yet still get tons of matches. It’s just annoying having to be super funny and interesting and etc to get any attention at all, compared to the other person actually just existing and saying “hey.”
Getting loads of matches isn’t necessarily a boon. I’ve had quite a few times where it turns out that a person I’ve matched with actually doesn’t find me attractive at all, but they were just liking profiles en masse to maximise their chance of getting likes.
Although, I prefer the people who are honest about the fact they consider me ugly than the ones who consider me unattractive but go on a date with me anyway, because I’m better than nothing. I once even ended up finding out that a dude was 0% attracted to me after we had been on a few dates and I had ended up at his place; he was unable to maintain an erection, and this led to him confessing that he wasn’t physically into me at all, but that I was the best option available.
I’m far from conventionally attractive, but I also know that I’m not the repugnant ogre that these instances made me feel like. It’s exhausting to do online dating because even the excessive number of likes just ends up being a source of stress: “is this person actually into me, or am I functionally a fleshlight to them?”
It’s especially frustrating because dudes who are like this are also making it worse for other men on the app who actually want to meet someone. It puts women more on guard, and makes us feel overwhelmed, which makes it less likely that we’ll have the emotional or mental energy spare to message back someone who’ll end up being genuine
True on all counts. Unfortunately, there’s little to be done to change those things. Putting in the effort to be funny and interesting will have better outcomes than focusing on how it’s not fair you have to do more work. This might be one of the few scenarios where men are mildly disadvantaged
A message comes after matches.
That depends on the app. On hinge, you can (and should) send a message with your like.
On tinder and close relatives, you can only work on your profile.
Bumble matches you, but only women can send first! So even if you match, you can’t chat lol.
True. I had a very poor experience on bumble, where I didn’t get many interactions. Not being able to message first I think takes away one of my few advantages.
I was lucky to find one woman that is willing to hang out with me for life. No fucking way I’d think I could trick a second one into not realizing I’m a strong 3.5 on a good day from a great distance and while not wearing their glasses.
That’s why you get yourself a girl with bad vision and then hide her glasses. Worked for me
Even if I did, I don’t think I’ve got the physical or mental ability to disappoint two women at once!!
I must be a modern Hercules. I disappoint every woman who’s gotten to know me.
Like that time that I spent two days cleaning and completely rearranging the bedroom while my wife was out of town, and then accidentally slept through all of her phone calls and texts that she landed and was waiting for me at the airport. And then she told my mom and sisters at the next family gathering, as she had every right to do.
Anyway, 4 women across two families and two generations. All in one well-intentioned fuck-up. They weren’t mad, just disappointed…
That’s outstanding! Fantastic effort!
If, for your lack of physical and mental energy, your efforts to disappoint two women at once ended in… disappointment, I wonder if that would mean you’d technically managed to impress and satisfy at least one.
I think I’d just disappoint both, but faster
That sounds like a recipe for success
This is my take, too. I’m objectively decent looking, but there’s no way anyone other than Mrs. Shovel be able to tolerate me.
So many dumdums trying to gaslight their partners into thinking that it’s not cheating, it’s an open relationship.
If you have to convince your partner, it’s not an open relationship, it’s a toxic one.
It’s really no wonder most marriages end up in divorce, when I see the quality of the relationships I wonder how they lasted more than two weeks.
It is always funny to read about open marriage regret, especially when the husband pushed for it.
Those guys are total morons. The dating economics are way different for women then men. My wife and I are probably both in the same league, yet if we opened our relationship I bet shed have a new guy every single weekend if she wanted. I’d probably average a handful per year. That is just a recipe for disaster.
Correction: Every hour if she wanted
why not more than 1 at once.
we were having lunch beside a pond the other day, a bunch of fairy wrens came close by, a single male with about 3 or 4 female wrens in toe. My gf asked if I had ever thought about having a harem, i was “no no no, waaaay toooo much work”, she laughed and laughed
If you’re going to do this as a man, you need to be in amazing physical shape. Otherwise it’s going to be difficult for you. Hit the gym and get stacked.
Yep, otherwise get used to sitting at home playing video games on a Saturday night while your wife is our getting plowed.
I wanna play video games while My spouse gets plowed! My fiance has a much higher sex drive than Me. I like sex sometimes, but most of the time I’d rather play Hades 2.
Hello! I’d like to sign up to either play videogames with you, or plow your wife, please. But not both at the same time.
Thank you! That’s very considerate. Sounds like it’s mating and/or gaming season.
@Mechoselachia@multiverse.soulism.net Hey someone wants to fuck you I think
relationship goals
The secret is love and respect. I want strangers to fuck My fiance’s brains out because I love it and want it to be pleasured. I just have more important things to do most of the time. Like 100%ing Opus Magnum.
Interesting. I don’t find that’s the case at all. I’m certainly not “stacked”, yet I’ve managed to find two partners that I absolutely adore. They each have other partners as well.
I’m pretty sure being open, honest, and vulnerable with a high EQ is far more important than having great abs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to the gym when I can, but real open relationships are about more than sex appeal and jealousy.
You don’t need to be in amazing shape (though it probably doesn’t hurt) but you need to be way more interesting and emotionally mature than the average guy.
If you’re the kind of person who gets upset like in this meme that your newly non-monogamous wife got more dates than you did, you are not mature enough to be getting dates with other non-monogamous people.
Jealous of other people being born with things you can’t have again, aren’t we?
The best approach is to focus on the stuff that really matters: How you measure up to your own metrics.
Not how you measure up to someone else’s.
Not how much of stuff everyone else has, you have.
Health, Growth, Ethics, and personal goals.
Forget about begging other people to give you a chance.
The question is, in an age of guns for self defense, what do men have on offer? Will they end up learning how to diet, exercise, cook, clean, and look after the children in order to maintain stronger relationships with hot partners? Will men finally be in charge of the domestic sphere, and women rule elsewhere? Some perhaps having cicisbeo?
Uhh… Forty something man here.
Will they end up learning gow to diet
Well, I eat within my food budget.
Exercise
Yeah
cook
Yeah
clean
Sure
and look after the children
Currently on the fourth month of paid paternity leave from my well paying job.
I don’t see this as a concession. I live in an equal relationship with my partner whom I love and want to be just as happy about the relationship as I am. We equally share our chores and pleasures. How else would I want to live?
I wasn’t saying it was a concession. It’s a realignment. Traditional models are still changing. A change the world and social norms are still adapting to.
Some will not handle the change as well as you. Wider society perhaps already isn’t (it’s part of the male fragility that was exploited to put Trump in power).
