chopsticks. you need chopsticks
And coronary occlusion emergency surgery. Sooner or later.
Why not fork?
too much work to maintain a git
A spoon seems the right choice considering how much sauce they want
they really are the greatest utensil. I’d always wanted to scoop noodles directly into my mouth with my hands, but it was so unhygenic and I’d frequently get burned!
Click at your own risk but i have another solution for your unique problem.

One of the many reasons research into the health effects of microplastic polution is so slow is because latex/vinyl gloves are themselves a source of microplastic contamination.
Really, these are great for most things and a dirt-cheap hygiene option too. Use them for potato chips, cheetos, cheeze-its… everything where you’re tempted to lick salt/powder/sugar off of your fingers. Did we really learn nothing from the pandemic?
I just wash my hands before I eat things, but I guess everybody is different, good for you for coming up with a creative solution.
No and I refuse to learn anything from it I’m in statesia I have been very clear.

Fyi some cultures in nhe middle east use their hands to eat all their food. They just make sure to wash up first.
IIRC a friend of mines first impression of a fork and knife was “such a waste of good metal”.
I never really understood the fascination with ranch that some people have.
I was sitting in a Walmart parking lot in rural Iowa many years ago waiting for my inlaws to finish shopping. An older couple, probably early 60s, starts unloading their groceries into the station wagon next to me. The woman grabs a bottle of ranch from one of the bags, takes a long swig, screws the lid back on, tosses it into the trunk, and continues unloading the cart.
It was the most American thing I’ve seen outside of a jail cell.
Ranch it up bro!
As a Californian this is why the fly over states disgust me. At least when I’m weird with food it at least has two primary ingredients, like the nacho dog which is basically just taking a hot dog and dipping it in nacho sauce.
Ranch is gross tbh
I’ve found that basically all commercial ranch (hidden valley) is mostly just soybean oil and doesn’t taste like shit.
A local pizza joint to me has custom made ranch that is unironically amazing. YMMV.
Homemade ranch (or at least, mixed up on site for restaurants) can be really good. There’s a bar near me that serves a great ranch with their buffalo wings. The thick, globby stuff in the bottles never lives up to expectations.
Nothing wrong with thick, if it’s got good flavor. I wish I had gotten Po’ Folks (a southern food restaurant chain local to me) ranch dressing recipe before it went out of business during the pandemic. It actually had identifiable chunks of minced carrot etc. suspended in it.
I miss it so much, along with a few other things from that place, that I’m almost motivated to try to track down somebody who used to work there and remembers.
You can Google and find results for that ranch recipe. Not sure how it compares to the original.
Got a link? I found one AJC article with a recipe for the tuna salad, which uses the ranch dressing as an ingredient, but it doesn’t include a recipe for the dressing itself.
“That” ranch recipe, from that specific restaurant, is noticeably different from any ranch I’ve had anywhere else. Random southern-style ranch recipes aren’t what I’m looking for.
Maybe this is just the American within me speaking, but I unironically enjoy comercial sauces. If it was disgusting, no one would buy them.
Yup. I’ve never had a good mass produced Ranch. Homemade Ranch is crazy good.
Is the local place Jet’s? People go crazy for their ranch around here
No it’s a locally owned pizzeria that has a secret recipe. I’ve been told it’s primarily a lard base.
I love ranch sauce.
This is not about ranch sauce specifically, but i found a good channel (FoodParables) which has a video for making your own ranch seasoning at home. If it’s of interest. Linked on the channel name in brackets
I tried some Paul Newman’s Ranch once, never having had ranch before. It was bloody awful!
Diplet detected.
Ranch is merely the primer for the second coating of whichever sauce you prefer.
I never understood the fascination with becoming as fat as possible
some people have their lizard brains react very poorly to the amount of sugar and fat and salt that’s inside modern hyper palatable food. i don’t think many people necessarily want to get fat enough to be at risk for various diseases, it just happens to them. and there are also people more at risk for impulsive actions or less control over their actions, like people with adhd and autism.
a lot of the information on nutrition out there is also either pure propaganda or meant to muddy the waters, so sometimes for people who aren’t very into nerding out over things it can be difficult to understand what good nutrition might be like.
deleted by creator
Sugar has addictive properties, including withdrawal and relapse patterns similar to dependence forming drugs. It obviously doesn’t affect everyone the same way, but a subset of people are at a much higher risk. Make them poor and put them in a sedentary society where all cheap food is made hyper-palatable with excess sugar and fat and…drumroll… they turn obese.
Shaming all fat people isn’t much better than the old caricature of drunkard indigenous Americans. There’s systemic issues at play.
Really good freshmixed stuff is 3x better than generic store bought.
A lot of the places use to much mayo when they mix and it ends up mayo sauce. I’ve heard good things about cutting down the mayo with sour cream though.
Its almost the same as the fascination the Japanese have with mayonnaise, honestly.
I guess its some kind of cultural palette thing.
The use of the cupcake tray for a dipping sauce tray is pretty great. Im always excited when my kitchenware has multiple purposes.
It also gives you colon cancer isn’t that cool
Which dip? Surely not all of them.
At some point you gotta admit the nuggies are only there so you’re not shoving spoonfuls of ranch down your gullet
bro that’s disgusting
Some people like nuggets. No need to shame.

ngl that picture looks unappealing af
It’s shot in anons cellar where he lives, the lighting isn’t great
Anon is fatter than God
I can hear the struggled breathing and gasping speech patterns now.
Is eating 20 nuggets per night the reason I have this?
No eating 40 is
Diplet detected
Remember, a thin paint will stick to a thick paint. Thanks, Bob Ross
shiii
I just throw the nuggets in a large mixing bowl. Toss in a couple tbl of Gochujang, 1 tbl toasted sesame oil a tsp of honey, some sesame seeds, 2 tsp garlic powder, green onion, thin shallot, and a nice healthy dose of kosher salt. If I’m feeling fusiony, i’ll swap the salt with Sazon seasoning.
Imagine anon’s face after trying your instructions, having accidentally cooked a whole meal on their own instead of mummy doing it
There would be more green text.
Incidentally, I made that post before lunch and thought about it so much I went upstairs and made it :) Added cotija cheese and a big spoon of salsa.
I’m now partially comatose :P
Ends up sick because instructions didn’t specify using clean dishes. Blames everyone else and cites it any time anyone tries to get him to do something for himself. This does not turn out well for him once his parents pass away.
Im a double dipper because I never share my tendies
Why do I want to try this now
Because you touch yourself at night!
I feel seen.
…does that make it better for you?
I touch myself during the day because a dick in my hand is super fucking hot. Usually its not mine but if thats all I got, I gotta get it.
a dick in my hand is super fucking hot.
He says, as he has a profile pic of Andre the giant. Who’s dick was said to be bigger than some peoples arms…
sees username
Oh…
Idk about ranch, but sour cream works very well with anything tomato-based, with mild-ish hot sauces, or with mustard. It’s preferable to not mix the two sauces too much, so they both can be felt on the tongue.
Or, you can mix sour cream with strawberry jam and dip pancakes into it. Better yet, wrap marinated mushrooms in crepes and dip that.
I know this is gonna sound weird but big trust me on this one chief:
Cream Cheese and A1 steak sauce. Use in a ratio of like 2 or 3 to 1 part A1. Don’t mix it, just drizzle on top of the cream cheese. Works best on toasted bread or crackers.
Good as an appetizer for parties and gatherings. You can also sub the steak sauce for raspberry chipotle sauce, but I find A1 is easier to get.
okay i’m gonna blow your mind. they got this stuff called labne. it’s like sour cream and cream cheese fucked. it’s absolutely delicious. you gotta try it
Jimmy deans breakfast sausage in a tube sautéed, drain grease well, fry hot or sweet peppers plus onions in the pan. Mix in a crock pot and put on low till its melted. Then keep it on warm.
Big dippers
Do we need to link you a suicide prevention hotline?
With eating habits like Anon, you’re just asking for heart failure.
Only once
Extremely slow suicide
Socially acceptable suicide
Nah thats called living life normally. Anon’s got the Fast Trak Frequent Flier Plan.
“diplet detected”
People will pick anything to act superior about, huh
Some people are just better at being Superior than others
I mean, that’s basically the entire premise of any insult on 4chan. The original days had anything be an insult simply by appending ‘-fag’ at the end.
Weird. Since when did 4chan (or any of its lookalikes) have quotation boxes?
since always I think, you just hover over the post ID link and it inlines it (only while hovering, though)
For basically any chan board when you hover over a “>>#######” it shows the post it points to.
Maybe a browser addon which embeds it directly.
I know mine does it, but it could be a feature of the 4chanX extension? I haven’t used 4chan without it in years. It’s not direct quotes, but you click the number to see the post inline.
If your plate doesn’t look like a pallet of paint after you’ve loaded it up, are you really living?














