I noticed that outside Gonewild, people just don’t post or react. There’s a few goony comments, and half-assed teases, and that’s it.
You can’t get any engagement, not even a no. I noticed it’s everyone that gets no interaction.
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I mean a big part is it was made pretty clear even back on lemmynsfw that negative reactions aren’t allowed which is a big part of engagement in general hence why they got rid of the upvote/downvote system.
It’s also because fedinsfw.app just sucks. Like I get the sentiment behind trying to keep the spirit of lemmynsfw alive but it’s like a cheap knockoff.
Make a better ui, stop letting people create 20 different versions of the same community which leads to bloat, and start filtering out low effort content (spam posts).
Haha idk I think theres plenty of horny people. I think you’re just looking for interaction with women specifically? Yeah that’s harder to come by. From what i gather, it seems here its mostly couples who are kinky and the rare woman who’ll be flooded with attention when she does grace the timeline with her goods. Other than that it’s horny guys but we’re dime a dozen and noone really gives af if we exist or not. I think it’s just the nature of the beast nowadays, most “horny” women are sellers. If you browse around paid sites you’ll see there’s basically an infinite amount of women providing every kink and service you could wish for. Also there’s just not that many people here tbh.
I got the wirring/orientation issue for here. I guess you can interact with a woman on GoneWild, but only like to make generic “I’m very horny and you are very hot” comment.
Much harder for niche things even if you are a woman.
Having said that, how are things from the gay side over there? Having a lot of fun?
Well yeah women posting there mostly do it for validation I imagine 🤷 I’m not sure what type of interaction you’re expecting? Also I don’t think women would struggle to get attention on any sub to be fair, I just don’t see that happening? Also idk where is the gay side to be honest 🤭 I follow gonewild and some porn subs pretty much. But in general this “instance” or whatever it’s called, is pretty reserved in my experience. I haven’t really managed to connect with anyone here. I’ve had way more luck on discord and other sites where more women hang out.
Funny thing, there was a freak event on our server, but no one actually connected with anyone, folk just spammed porn.
It’s what got me in this state.
You can’t really “force” an interaction like that through events especially with women. In my experience a lot of success is simply timing. If you talk to a woman when she’s in the mood, it can be almost surprising how easy things can get going. Also all the stuff you see about people saying it’s “weird” to slide into a girls dms, in my experience it’s the only thing that’s ever worked 🤭 women aren’t gonna be getting freaky with you in a group setting. You use that to feel them out and if they match your energy, you can def shoot your shot.
I’m scared enough by horror stories that I did say DM’s open instead. I know priorities! I let everyone know they could get a pic, one person said I can post, but no one would want it. So…ugh.
It was generaly joke flirts mixed with actual porn, someone saying they are going to “goon” in SFW chat.
The server was new and admins too new.
Honestly that sounds fine, joke flirts is how you check if you’re vibing with someone. The horror stories are valid, there are genuine creeps out there of course. But the people who take that advice to heart usually are the good eggs and not the creeps 🤷 the cold hard truth is that nine out of ten women(minimum) aren’t gonna make the first move. If someone is atleast joke flirting with you, you can def try to talk to them in private.
Some are friendly, In don’t want to get labeled needlessly.
As a matter of fact, friends. All the better for me :p
But I would not ruin a friendship by beeing a creepo.
They rarely flirt much. Was very interesting though.
I was in a situation where a woman politely declined pics (she I think is busy trying to get with someone).
But gave me advice. That was very nice. She is very smart, and knows how to push buttons. I respect that.
It’s a new & budding site, so it’ll take some time. Especially when it’s not reddit.
If you’re okay with second or third hand discussion, read on. Otherwise, ignore me. I block all the image and video based nsfw communities (well, almost all, the ones that are art based I keep in). So, grains of salt.
But, what I hear from people offline and online privately is that the fediverse is a disappointing place for spank banking. Too much junk, bad gifs, and hassles combined with spurts of spammish posts when a new community starts.
So even people otherwise engaged on the fediverse just don’t bother you try and engage with lust here because it feels empty.
Hell, part of the reason I block them as they show up is that so many are just random porn gifs and stolen pics. Which is fine for what it is, I guess, but certainly nothing to engage with. You know damn good and well when that’s the posts that most of the people posting just aren’t going to have a good conversation. The gone wild style communities should be different (and I’ve heard they are, though too damn many onlyfans models that aren’t there for the community, just the the free ad space it amounts to).
I dunno, there’s also the way that lemmy in particular skews a little older and more settled. As people age up, the horny becomes less something to chat about and more something to actually participate in when one could be chatting. So you end up with a smaller segment of the user base that will do more than just vote and masturbate.
I suspect part of that is also the reddit exodus. Reddit was getting spam driven in terms of adult content, outside very niche (and often quarantined) subs.
In other words, people are still horny, but the fediverse just isn’t the place to actively pursue it.
We think you’re a little too absolute in your answer, though there’s some truth in there, the main thing is that just as any large internet place, you have to curate your feed so that it fits your interests. As you said, gonewild communities and other smaller niche communities are filled with OC, some sellers and some not, but most of it quality and good spirited ! As such, more so than on reddit, nsfw fediverse IS a place where one should ACTIVELY pursue nsfw horny engagement (if one wishes for it of course), because it can be found, but it won’t be served directly to you
I don’t feel comfortable “Chasing”, but I will ask people if they want to make me pose naked, that’s what I want the most, for people to ask me to do experiments so they can get off on me. Will engage more here later, have stuff to do.
If that’s your liking, please DM us, you have are greenest light ;)
Also, there is a community dedicated to having instructions given to you, and we participated in it a few times, it was always fun !
Uninvolved 3rd party here to ask which community that is? Sounds super fun!
No problem, the community is https://fedinsfw.app/c/fapdeciders ! It doesn’t get much activity, but we love every time it does :)
My heroes! On it!
I second this. Posted my femboy’ish ass in a dress and best comment that I got was about me looking like a Jojo villain. Also, there not a lot of people in general, so even less users who are interested in horny stuff to begin with.
That bugs me. Pisses me off tbh. Nobody should ever fuck with someone sharing their body . Well, fuck with maybe, but not disrespect. I’m sorry that happened to you, and thank you for having tried to contribute.
I mean, JoJo villians are cool as fuck though.
Well, I’m not offended as other commenter suggests, it’s funny even. But like, I posted it to nsfw instance to get some validation, maybe some horny comments, but instead it was more of neutral reaction. I want comments of how sexy I’m, you know.
We just need more people. Not everyone finds everyone else attractive. It’s all subjective. Very subjective.
“me not being conventionally attractive” not the issue here, honey :3
I go to posts and it’s just computer parts.
No kink shaming!
(it’s literally second post, like, common man)
I was not even trying for Femboy, but got comments on my ass, arms, being like a machine.
Good times!
Thank you, this does make sense, and is quite thoughtful and informative.
Did you like designate yourself a sex guardian or something? I feel all you do is volunteer essays.
Noble regardless.
I had access to a shit ton of good books in my formative years, including a decent number of books on human sexuality. So it has been an interest ever since. I also enjoy sharing information (and have time to do so what with being unable to work).
In this case, it’s just something I’ve had conversations about, rather than any deep research, but I figure most of the point of the fediverse is people communicating and sharing thoughts, so it made sense
Hey, “long-time” posters of fedinsfw, and lemmynsfw before that. Our opinion us that there was a real shift when switching servers. On Lemmynsfw, the community was smaller, but more diverse and engaged. We can’t remember a time when one of our posts got left with 0 response. And most of those were of course horny, but also interesting and engaged. When the server died down, fedinsfw took some time before appearing, and our feeling is that this caused a lot of folk from the previous instance to not make the jump. In the same time, fedinsfw appeared to people who perhaps were not aware of lemmynsfw, and as such fedinsfw got a very fast increase in population, but from a less diverse userbase (lots of solo males). We could see the differents in post response as a couple : our post of her solo actually make more upvotes than before, our couple pics are less upvoted and commented, and we almost stopped posting solo him content because it got downvoted.
This isn’t to say there is no good engagement here ! We’d have stopped posting if it was rhe case. We now have regulars in our comments and DMs whom we love to interact with ! But it is true the the larger and less diverse userbase tends to drown the good engagement among low quality or even adverse reactions.
It is also on us to try and change that ! Interact with posts you like, upvote and comment, even basic nice words will mean the world to a content poster, because you took some time to tell them. Subscribe to niche communities you like, and perhaps go scroll directly in them because they may not appear in a feed saturated by larger ones. If you’re a poster yourself, we propose that you post first in a relevant niche community, and then cross post to a larger less specific one, so that it creates a small amount of visibility.
We can’t do it alone, but we all can try to make this place a better place, one small comment at a time :)
I’ve lived my entire pretty long life in a haze of immutable horniness. I am an unrepentant gooner and sexual deviant. That said, I don’t think I have ever commented on anyone’s pics nor engaged in any lengthy discussion. I have reasons for that but it’s not related to the gist of your question.
Coming from Reddit, aside from the sheer number of people which makes it feel less intimate, 90% of nsfw posts always looked like karma bots or OF shills and the comment section is filled with a bunch of morons that didn’t seem to realize it. It always reminded me of watching some un-self-aware boomer grandfather hitting on an uncomfortable cashier. Generally the kind of guys who are too stupid to find lemmy. Without that demographic, it’s a lot quieter. I think lemmy is a more discerning crowd.
I’m sure there were niche subs that had an active user base but on the whole most online platforms feel too random and filled with anonymous strangers to get comfortable sharing opinions.
Some of the afterdark style subs were pretty decent.
After typing that it occurred to me that if you’re taking nude photos of yourself and posting them online, titillating a crowd, including a bunch of horny creepy fucks you’d probably not want to be in a room with in rl is part of the thrill. 😅
Hmm, but what can they even do that I’m not already to kinky for? I can bench press most people.
I dunno man, feels kinda stupid to make a comment like “I’m so horny!” Which is why I tend towards goofy disarming comments. I do like the depth of conversation on this comm tho, I’d like more of it and definitely more hypotheticals I feel I have a stake in.
Fedinsfw is still tiny, even by lemmy standards. There’s not enough users to drive engagement since there isn’t much of a community here yet, and that means people have almost no incentive to interact.
It happens in GW too - I had by far the most active comment sections on GW out of anyone who posted to Lemmynsfw (
And I think I still do for fedinsfw?just checked, top spot is me on fedinsfw, and with only 44 comments. Pls comment on posts!), and even then there’s almost no interaction between other users: ~50% of the comments are my replies to other folks. It’s sad because I really just love talking to people, and I don’t love how it can feel like I’m in a position of power where I am the sole arbiter of who gets the happy “interact with pretty girl” brain chemicals today and who doesn’t.It really drives home the reality of complaints about male isolation in society; I’ve had a few men message me after I replied to their comments with the assumption that that’s an indication I wanna take things further and no. But then it turns out they don’t realize I’m just being friendly because, as they later have admitted, they’ve never had an egirl reply to them earnestly who wasn’t out for subscriptions to their onlyfans. It’s so rare it must mean I’m DTF or similar.
It’s bleak, is what I’m saying. People get horny still, but so many people are having to get horny in isolation, especially in these small communities, that being horny isn’t treated as a social activity.
Idk I’m just rambling.
(And FWIW I have never had a message from another woman. Hell, I think I’ve only ever gotten a single comment from another female poster. where my bi/lesbian friends at? HMU)
I mean, I think I’ve been flirty/horny at some of your posts and comments but like… publically, not in your dms.
Its just dicking around lol, not like I think you’re suddenly gonna be my e-girlfriend lol… just trying my hone my horny posting / dirty talk skills, hahah.
Yeah… its not good, not good that guys, and honestly the stats show its becoming a thing for young women as well… just basically don’t know how to socialize, cuz… life is computer/phone and horrible wage slave job.
Hrm.
… Sex chaperones for ‘not really threesomes’?
Like, you play the dom, but you don’t actually directly engage in the sex… you just find two total noobs that want to sex each other, and act as something like a referee + tutor?
Layout the ground rules for communication, walk people through foreplay, using protection, give a basic anatomy/biology lesson… have a planned ‘menu’ of positions the both agree they may try or things they may do?
Sigh even women can’t get engagement from women. Porn is endless, I can make it too, it is not satisfying to just make something one-off, have people comment on how they like your whatever, then they just disappear.
I want people to feel free to request things from me.
I feel a bit guarded about my privacy here. Especially since even the up and down votes are public information if you know where to look. I don’t think it would be hard to link this account to my main one, but I try not to make it too obvious, so I don’t comment as much as I could.
Also OC is somewhat rare so I know I’m usually not talking to the person in the image or video anyway.
See I don’t give a single fuck, I use this same account all over lemmy.
Lets just say I’d be very impressed if anyone was able to actually link my profile to my real identity… because I don’t exist on any other social media, nothing is tied to my real identity, you’d have to do quite a lot of work to reverse engineer it.
But also I haven’t actually posted any nudes of myself yet, and well, Im a guy, so, probably a lot lower chances I’d attract a bonkers stalker.
Yeah, that makes sense. I just try to make it a habit to limit info release on porn accounts (also my main, but less so) just because I think it’s better to be cautious in general.
Huh never really felt worried about that. Then again, I think whoever was trying to blackmail me would feel more awkward lmao
But yeah OC is fairly uncommon on here, but I think you do recognize the returning ones after a bit
I got a scammer try and blackmail me with “nudes” they apparently have of me. Which was laughable on many levels. 1. I never take nudes, I have taken less than a half dozen dick pics because they were requested by current partners. 2. I look pretty good. 3. I ain’t got money!
I told them to share them with whomever they want and laughed while hanging up.
I understand. I can guarantee that I post original content of myself, although it is very Amateurish due to circumstances :/
I don’t see any content of you on your profile. I’m guessing it’s in communities I’ve blocked, which makes sense because as far as I can tell you seem to be male, so I wouldn’t interact with the content anyway.
This is because the content is on the old Lemmy NSFW, however, I am also male, which I understand why you don’t want that.
I used to be active on Reddit on a sub for smutty conversation, writing and roleplay.
I created that community here on FediNSFW because I still would like to have those conversations and exchanges and yes, it is much much much quieter here.
There were many posts there. However, if I take away all the replies I sent to posts on Reddit that didn’t get a reply, or the OP turned into a [deleted] before replying, the engagement is about the same. Between bots, Telegram scams and shadowbans, the “activity” on Reddit should be taken with a grain of salt, IMO.
When I first join the Fedi, someone said “be the feed you want to see”.
Oh well, give the link, let’s see.
