What kinds of things do you feel comfortable or uncomfortable saying?

I’m a big fan of being on the receiving end, but sometimes I get a little uncomfortable. I had a partner who I know started believing what he was saying near the end of the relationship, and blurring those boundaries really messed with my head.

I’m a big fan of being told that I’m not intelligent - “dumb slut” etc - because I know that I am actually smarter than most of my sexual partners IRL but like to be a brainless fuck toy during the act.

  • CerebralHawks@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    4·
    25 days ago

    I get the appeal, but it’s not really my thing. See also, age and familial play. Not my bag. But I’m not judging what consenting adults do being closed doors.

    Closest I’ll come is wrist pinning. So first of all, consent is mandatory and I’m not into CNC or anything approaching it. But, when you’re topping in missionary as a male partner with a female partner (or a male partner at the right angle, I suppose — I don’t look up gay porn, but I have seen it done in yaoi anime, so I suppose it’s possible IRL), holding hands is a great way for support. Pinning their wrists gets you the same leverage, and it feels hot. It borders on CNC a bit, so I don’t do it often, but my wife digs it, so sometimes I break it out as a surprise.

    • solar@fedinsfw.appEnglish
      3·
      24 days ago

      I mean, pinning wrists seems very very far away from CNC, for me, thats very clearly consent without pretending that its not consentful. The right words during it might make it CNC but thats a world of difference.

      • freeusething@fedinsfw.appOPEnglish
        2·
        24 days ago

        I’d argue it’s on the spectrum. If your wrists are pinned down, you can’t push someone off. Like, it’s very very mild - my end of the spectrum is giving a guy a key and giving him permission to use me while I’m asleep - but it’s still playing with the idea of power and the ability to resist.

        • solar@fedinsfw.appEnglish
          1·
          23 days ago

          For me its as much on the spectrum as doing missionary because my partner also couldnt easily get me off of her but that doesnt mean that we are playing with Non-consent. But there is full consent and we are not pretending to do anything that doesnt have consent. But pinning wrists and being aggressive with it or saying something about the control that you have, that would be on the spectrum.

          I think we just pin hands differently :D