Depression a motherfucker
Truly. Hopefully this post judges people towards treatment; people want you, they want you to be better, they want to share their love with you.
Me: terminally paranoid
Uhhhhhh, people want to share their love with me??? No. That sounds suspicious as hell. It’s a trap. What’s their endgame? I know they aren’t after me lucky charms, because that cereal is disgusting, so I never buy it.
Still…these “people” sound demented in the head.
I have a friend who is depressed but I sadly feel like I can’t say or do anything to help, even his meds don’t seem to help much
As someone who has treatment-resistant depression: keep inviting your friend. Keep asking them for help when it makes sense to do so. Even if they cancel a lot or are quiet when they do show up. That’s helping a lot.
People need community.
man who needs therapy discovers he may need therapy
Then discovers he can’t afford therapy
just so you know, it’s a lot more affordable than you might think, and many therapists offer reduced rates for people on low incomes
The best therapy is to just go in the forest and fight a bear. It’ll put some hair on your chest and it’ll put things in perspective.
I doubt fighting a bear would have helped me overcome my trauma from being abused as a kid tbh
Anon has threat-sensitive anxiety.
The message is an unexpected intrusion, with right answers and wrong answers but it’s not clear which is which. “Morning beautiful! 😍 💕” Is insincere because anon doesnt feel that cheerful, and anon lacks confidence in his ability to be convincingly insincere, as well as feeling like a fraud for having to pretend to be happy, AND is acutely reminded of his inability to be happy. “Morning” is muted and emotionless, bound to be inadequate, possibly signalling anger or discontent. "👍 " Is definitely a no-go, probably. Non-response is also just kicking the can down the road, eventually he has to respond, AND come up with an excuse why he took so long.
Anon has just woken up and immediately needs to deal with a scenario that his threat-model doesn’t cover, and where a wrong answer will have real-world consequences, possibly derailing his whole day and impacting his relationship over the longer term.
Anon is exhausted from the constant wargaming with all the minutiae of life.
I’m saving this for when someone sends me a friendly message and I don’t know how to respond. It will probably derail my relationship, but at least they know what happened.
Fake: anon got a gf
Gay: anon is broken and lonely because he doesn’t have a bfJoking aside, a lot of these feelings come from childhood problems, whether we understand the triggers or not. It sucks because stuff that happens then carries over for the rest of our lives and it gets progressively harder to fix the older you get. People like this are the symptoms of a not quite functional family. Such families are the symptom of a broken, diseased society.
you gotta touch the butt that’s the trick
I dare you to touch the buttttt
The key to happiness is having zero expectations. Seeking it in others is probably one of the worst places to look.
The key to happiness is having zero expectations.
anon rediscovers stoicism
anon rediscovers stoicism
Don’t slap a western coat of paint onto older teachings.
One has the right to perform their expected duty,
But not to the right to the fruits of action;
One should not consider oneself as the doer of the action,
Nor should one attach oneself to inaction.- Bhagavad Gita 2 : 47
According to Wikipedia, the bhagavad gita was written around 200 BC, whereas stoicism originated in 400 BC. Admittedly, this was just the result of some very cursory research, the Buddhist philosophy could go back further than the writing itself, but it seems to me like they independently arise around the same time (that being around 200 years difference, lol) but you really need to be careful saying stuff like that. I’ve made the same mistake dozens of times where I confidently state something, only for it to be disproven by a minute of googling.
The key to happiness is having zero expectations.
I disagree. Zero expectations leads to rotting if you’re down already. As I understand it, zero expectations almost equals zero trust.
Forcing your self to feel feelings that you think “are right” is a good way to guilt trip yourself into insanity. The reality is feelings are oscillatory, sometimes you love someone to bits, sometimes you are impartial to them, sometimes you want a bit of space. If one is overweighing the others in a way that you think contradicts your proximity to this person then it is time to have an adult conversation. But you can’t judge your relation, yourself or the other person based on a single moment of feeling you had one morning.
The point is not to squish feelings that may look contradictory to your perceived relation with a person, the point is to finesse them, i.e live them without hurting the other person. ex, don’t act like a dick when you want a bit of space (also don’t be a dick when the other person does too).
The point is to regulate and control your feelings. Not let them control you.
Yeah I’m not sure what to tell yall, but happiness comes from within. If you attach it to mental formations (i.e. “The only way I can be happy is with a boyfriend/girlfriend”), then you’re gonna have a bad time.
Idk, I’ve never been happier than the six months I was dating this girl who’s sex drive was almost as high as mine. Never been able to get there on my own and the other aspects of my life have been way better since then. Sadly her mental health was a mess and that relationship didn’t last.
You’d also be ‘happy’ if you did cocaine for those six months. You are confusing getting high from dopamine hits with happiness.
All happiness is just dopamine hits. It’s all stimulus and chemicals regardless of what’s triggering it.
No, it’s not. Happiness is the action of self regulation. Happiness is choosing broccoli over a cookie because you know it is better for you. And then later choosing to have the cookie after you’ve had proper good food.
Someone tied up to a machine being dosed by chemicals to ‘feel happy’ would not be happy. Just like drug addicts, and other addicts, who are constantly chasing highs, are not happy people. They are fucking miserable, forever chasing and defining their entire life by those dopamine hits.
What you are describing is how children are. They would choose the cookie every time, eat cookies all day, get sick and throw up, and then get angry and sullen about it and still do it all over again. Because they have no ability to regulate, they just act in a state of pure dopamine seeking.
Dear, older people of Lemmy, does it ever get better?
It does. Unfortunately, it requires a great deal of honest introspection and tough decisions.
I struggle go see beyond my unconsciousness pishing back and hindering me to reflect in a neutral way. I feel like I am stuck with my own image of myself without a possibility to see the actual me if that makes sense, so I feel like I’m not capable to be and feel myself? Like, in my mind the way people perceive me and respect and enjoy me is only a person I try to be while hiding my actual intentions. I am open with my thoughts and I am rarely hesitant to be honest but I still feel that contrast
Nothing gets better until you make it better.
Nobody is coming to save you. You have to save yourself.
Many people spend their entire lives waiting to be saved. Just like they piss away their money gambling and drinking and wondering why they are poor, rather than saving their money and building a nest egg.
Stop waiting, start taking charge of your life.
A partner won’t fix you, or at least you shouldn’t expect them to. A partner is there to support you in good times and bad. A crutch to lean on when you need it. Someone to comfort you when you need it. They aren’t some magic tool to correct issues you might have.
However partner can be a driving force for you to start fighting for yourself - an external motivation. And partner can offer a boost to perceived self worth. Enough to enable you to try to fight for yourself.
A partner can also the source of your misery and separating yourself from them can finally allow you to respect yourself.
I wanted to argue. I really did. I hate it and I don’t want to connect partner as a word to abusive fucks you mention. But I cannot as they are included. Have an updoot and know you ruined my day ;-;
haha, it gets worse. you can have a partner who was wonderful and morphs into an abusive horrible person over time, because they become unhappy with their life and you become their punching bag.
Broke up with her over text because I feel nothing.
Years later I regret what I have done feeling like I made a mistake.
Fully prepared to accept the consequences of my actions and ready to live alone forever.
Or you grow and mature and find someone new who you won’t do that with. I’m not some unique freak in having multiple ones who got away who could’ve been a great lifelong partner and also an amazing lifelong partner who didn’t get away.
