• MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca
      12·
      1 day ago

      Mary’s husband Joseph doesn’t know that Mary and me

      Do it on my camel every Sunday

      She tells him she’s in church but she doesn’t go

      Still she’s on her knees and Mary’s husband Joseph doesn’t know

      • W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
        2·
        3 days ago

        Took me a minute, but then the melody clicked and I saw Ben Affleck in my head at a high school graduation party (hint hint) singing this song.

        • MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca
          2·
          3 days ago

          'Tis a bit clunky because I don’t know Mary’s husband’s name (if he had one? If there was a he? Idk I’m not religious), so the extra syllables throws it off a bit.

  • Grail@multiverse.soulism.netEnglish
    12·
    6 days ago

    Paul never met Jesus and was opposed to him when he was alive. Paul only became a Christian once he was able to twist the religion to suit his own values. Poisonous values that Jesus hated.

    • imdoneinteracting@sh.itjust.works
      14·
      6 days ago

      Then after bro opened a bunch of churches there was this council that got together in Nicaea a few hundred years later and decided what was and wasn’t convenient for them. Now we are told to not retaliate even though Big Je was handing out beatings to money changers.

      I choose Rambo Jesus over Supply Side Prosperity Jesus

  • DagwoodIII@piefed.socialEnglish
    8·
    6 days ago

    I have tremendous respect for Raquel Welch’s son

    When he was 10 years old his mom was the biggest sex symbol on the planet.

    He managed to live a quasi-normal life and wasn’t crucified once.

  • Alex@lemmy.ml
    6·
    6 days ago

    I thought the whole “virgin” thing was an interpretation of the original Greek or Aramaic for “maid”, as in a young women of child rearing age.

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
      16·
      6 days ago

      No. They believe she never had sex. Jesus needs to be an only child and conceived by god or he’s not special enough.

      The real miracle in the Bible is that Joseph didn’t fuck for his entire marriage and was ok with that.

      • Damage@feddit.it
        11·
        6 days ago

        For all we know Joe was ace and was glad to have found a way to stop his parents’ nagging

      • BillyClark@piefed.socialEnglish
        4·
        6 days ago

        Jesus needs to be an only child and conceived by god or he’s not special enough.

        I seem to recall that back then, there were a lot of myths about virgin births. So even that lie wasn’t particularly special, in the grand scheme of things.

      • sylver_dragon@lemmy.worldEnglish
        3·
        6 days ago

        The real miracle in the Bible is that Joseph didn’t fuck for his entire marriage and was ok with that.

        According to Christian mythology Jesus has several brothers and sisters from Mary and Joseph. So no miracle there. One just has to wonder if they waited until after Jesus was born to start fucking.

  • DarkCloud@lemmy.world
    2·
    6 days ago

    What Christians don’t want you to know is that Virgin just mean early-teens back in the day, and Mary was too Virginal. Hence the scandal. Someone sid that kid, no one wanted to admit it, so everyone agreed that it must have been a miracle.