Feelings I had for my classmate were obviously one-sided (pretty sure of it), so I made a reasonable decision to never confess to not make things awkward. In a few years since we graduated I finally moved on, although I never loved anyone this much since.
Yet all this time I had a desire to tell her about them. I would definitely want to know if someone loved me this much ever. Would she? I don’t know. I don’t even know if she is in a relationship right now or not.
I would really want to cite some scientific study that “Over 80% of girls have their self-confidence lifted after being told they were secretly admired (p<0.05)”, but can’t find one.
If you’re honest with yourself - really, really honest - you will see that your desire to tell them is motivated by your own vanity and desire for attention. You’re doubtless imagining some big scene in which either they fall into your arms or in which you get to stride off into the sunset as some kind of noble self-sacrificing hero while they wonder what might have been. Don’t fall into that trap. It’s childish, and it’s selfish, and it’s getting into some really dodgy territory that ends with the manosphere and incels and all that. Just keep your counsel, and move on.
I’m horrified and appalled by how the community perceived my intentions; at large, judging by the number of votes on comments in the conversation below, placing no doubt in them being nothing more than sick and twisted desire for attention.
The formula as I see it in my head is quite simple. I would want to hear this said to me; it would make my day; wouldn’t they want to hear it just as much? I waited for long enough that no special feelings are currently present.
then tell yourself and leave the other person to their fucking life.
You might want to think about that a bit.
You all will NOT gaslight me into thinking I’m insane. You. Will. Not.