Translated this from LinkedIn Speak to English:
I guilt-tripped my dad into buying a $1,000 knife set from my high school pyramid scheme back in 2005.
He let them rot in a drawer for two decades because he obviously didn’t want them. Now I’ve inherited them in Florida, which is the only way I was ever going to get any value out of that scam.
I was 17 and predatory enough to close a pity sale on my own father for Vector Marketing. To everyone who correctly points out that Cutco is a joke: the knives actually haven’t fallen apart yet, which is more than I can say for my dignity at the time.
Your first shitty sales job was probably a humiliating waste of time, but if you wait twenty years, you can try to spin it into a deep life lesson for engagement.
I was a Rainbow Vacuum salesman until my sleazy manager said he would accompany me to ensure that I closed my first sale, to my grandmother. My internal filter suddenly flicked off and I found myself spewing, “You are the most disgusting human being I’ve ever met, and every part of you that isn’t scum makes you seem dangerously aggressive. I can’t let you meet my grandmother, she’d never be able to look me in the eye again. In fact, I don’t even know why I’m here. My grandmother would be so disappointed in me if she knew I were associated with you. Good luck scamming someone else, I quit.” And then I walked out.
Dude didn’t even seem phased by all this. He looked like people told him this shit every day.
Then the manager clapped
So what is the lesson exactly? Start your career by scamming/guilt-tripping your parents out of money? Not really sure what else I should take away from this.
If you can scam your parents, you can scam anyone. That’s how you know you’re cut out for sales.
Vector is a pyramid scheme. What kind of, uh, person, gets suckered into this “interview” like I did, and pays them to sell their overpriced bullshit?
Vector sent me a letter offering a $15/hr job. When I got there it turned out to be $15 per sales pitch, with driving time, lead generation time, training, and everything else unpaid. There were many other signs it was a scam. When I came back for the second day of training, I presented my evidence, but I wasn’t able to convince anyone else to leave.
least you tried, I did not show up for day two.
Here’s my cutco success story I walked the fuck out of their recruitment session when I realized it wasn’t a normal ass job interview
I’m embarrassed to admit I accepted the “job” (while continuing to work my retail one) when I was young. 🤦♂️ In the “interview”, I said I would work hard, creatively find leads, interact on social media, etc, but I wouldn’t hit up my friends/family for sales. They agreed, but guess what they later wanted me to do?
Anyway, I completed the training, got my sample kit, then did exactly one demo for a relative, and asked her for contact info from her extensive network of acquaintances, as we were trained to do. They laughed and told me no. Afterwards, I felt so ashamed of myself for trying to use family for leads that I didn’t even submit the demo for payment. But I still attended a couple more of the meetings at the Cutco office. Even then, my breaking point wasn’t until they made us gather on a Saturday for an “All-Day Call Day”, where I was again pressured to cold-call family members. After that was when I finally turned in my demo set, breathed a sigh of relief, and moved on. 1 demo, zero sales, $0 earned, countless wasted hours. But at least I can always look back and cringe at myself if I ever get too big of an ego!
Demo set? When they tried to hire me (2003 maybe?), you had to start by buying a set.
Ouch, that’s shady as hell! Maybe they got slapped down in court for doing that or something? Or maybe the laws in my state are different. The demo set was very bare-bones, but it was brand-new. It included the steak knife, trimmer knife, table knife, and shears:
Edit: corrected
