I guilt-tripped my dad into buying a $1,000 knife set from my high school pyramid scheme back in 2005.
He let them rot in a drawer for two decades because he obviously didn’t want them. Now I’ve inherited them in Florida, which is the only way I was ever going to get any value out of that scam.
I was 17 and predatory enough to close a pity sale on my own father for Vector Marketing. To everyone who correctly points out that Cutco is a joke: the knives actually haven’t fallen apart yet, which is more than I can say for my dignity at the time.
Your first shitty sales job was probably a humiliating waste of time, but if you wait twenty years, you can try to spin it into a deep life lesson for engagement.
I was a Rainbow Vacuum salesman until my sleazy manager said he would accompany me to ensure that I closed my first sale, to my grandmother. My internal filter suddenly flicked off and I found myself spewing, “You are the most disgusting human being I’ve ever met, and every part of you that isn’t scum makes you seem dangerously aggressive. I can’t let you meet my grandmother, she’d never be able to look me in the eye again. In fact, I don’t even know why I’m here. My grandmother would be so disappointed in me if she knew I were associated with you. Good luck scamming someone else, I quit.” And then I walked out.
Dude didn’t even seem phased by all this. He looked like people told him this shit every day.
Translated this from LinkedIn Speak to English:
I was a Rainbow Vacuum salesman until my sleazy manager said he would accompany me to ensure that I closed my first sale, to my grandmother. My internal filter suddenly flicked off and I found myself spewing, “You are the most disgusting human being I’ve ever met, and every part of you that isn’t scum makes you seem dangerously aggressive. I can’t let you meet my grandmother, she’d never be able to look me in the eye again. In fact, I don’t even know why I’m here. My grandmother would be so disappointed in me if she knew I were associated with you. Good luck scamming someone else, I quit.” And then I walked out.
Dude didn’t even seem phased by all this. He looked like people told him this shit every day.
Then the manager clapped