Do you have a favourite sexual memory that stands out amongst the rest for any reason?
I think mine would be at a wedding with my then partner, had a few drinks and slipped into back into the hotel room for a quickie. Maybe it was the way her dress was hiked up as she was bent over, the music we could hear (Red, Red Wine being played by a jazz band), the perfect amount of alcohol in our system.
Maybe all of the above, but it always sticks out and gets me going if I ever think of it.
There’s a guy I’ve been hooking up with for about two years now, who I enjoy having pretty rough sex with. I’ve never seen his face - we both are masked when we meet - and I have no idea what his name is. (Which tbh is the case for most sex I have.)
I mentioned that someone had me piss for them recently, and he asked me if he could piss on me before fucking me. So I set up my towels, he came over, pissed on me, then when we moved over to my fucking pillow, he really gently and carefully cleaned his piss off me. At this point, I don’t really connect sex to intimacy much, but the way he gingerly cleaned my back - before whipping me, putting me into a headlock and pounding me into mindlessness - it was just so gentle.
It was just a weird moment - I go back and forth on whether the rough sex with strangers think is a net negative or positive on my life, whether it’s actually a form of self harm or not. But I also have found that sometimes I get to talk to these men about anarchism or art, and have really fascinating conversations that just wouldn’t happen without doing this.
Thanks for sharing that. Different but interesting.
The way you have sex, would you say its needed to be that rough, or could you manage with a normal vanilla sexual encounter?
I’m not asking in any sort of judgemental way, I’m very into the rough, free use side of sex, it just get intrigued when I meet someone like minded.
Sex without some aspect of me submitting doesn’t make sense to me. I hate looking people in the eyes normally, the idea of having sex with someone face to face as equals is just ick. I am submissive. I enjoy when I am being fucked in a way which mostly conveys to me that my pleasure doesn’t matter and that my body is a tool; my task is to make sure the person fucking me has an enjoyable orgasm.
But I’m also still a human being, and there has to be a recognition of that - I do this because it feels really really good to be choked by a guy who is joking about how he’d keep going after I passed out - because we’ve done stuff together for a while and I know I’ll be fine tomorrow.
But I guess to your actual question - I don’t think I am capable of vanilla sex. I have to remind myself regularly that my more vanilla leaning partners will be weirded out if I kiss their feet and thank them for honoring me with their cum after they are done with me, and that avoiding that prioritizes their pleasure.
You really are a freeusething aren’t you. Fair play
See, I’m capable of both. I can do, and really enjoy, the freeuse, sex object, piece of furniture that gets fucked side of sex, but I also enjoy passionate, romantic sex too. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy one side a lot more than the other, but I like to have a little balance sometimes