If your eggs are more than a couple of days old, don’t poach them. Fry or scramble will both be fine, but poachies need the freshest eggs you can get.

If you must poach an older egg, line a cup with cling film/Saran wrap and make a parcel of the egg then poach for the usual time. It’s not as pretty, but it pretty much works.

There’s only a bath, shower and sink in this room. Any pooping should take place in the WC next door. If that changes, I’ll have more concerns than fan niose.