I’m full of two of those things. Guess which.

Ever thought about not being that way?

I swear to God, every comment I read about life in the US boils down to ‘slight adjustment made to orphan-crushing machine’.

You mean Marvel, the company that created such notables as:

• Dr Bong, the villain who encased his head in a steel bell?
• Vamp/Animus, the woman with the power to turn into a man? (Or possibly vice versa)
• Starfox, the hero who could psychically activate your brain’s pleasure centre?

Credit where it’s due, they were willing to throw everything at the wall to see what stuck.

I think your friend is stupid and should give up.