• Mister Neon@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    That’s inaccurate. I’m jealous of a lot of my friends. I tell them I’m jealous. I’m also happy for them and help them out, especially if it helps them get to the point where I’m jealous of them.

    You can have more than one emotion and opinion about things.

    • TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 days ago

      Would you say that rather than jealousy, you feel sympathetic joy? Because as defined by Cambridge dictionary, jealous is “an adjective used to describe someone who is feeling or showing an unhappy, resentful, or bitter emotion”.

      I feel that people don’t seem to think jealousy is a negative emotion even though that’s what it’s defined as.

      • kindnesskills@literature.cafe
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        3 days ago

        People are capable of incredibly complex emotions, such as feeling both unhappy bitterness of their own lives in comparison, while feeling and displaying joyous celebrations of their friends success.

        One can have both positive and negative experiences of the same event. There’s no use in trying to narrow down to either one.

        • TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.worldOP
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          3 days ago

          Sure but if you were given the option of a friend who is both jealous and feels sympathetic joy compared to one who only feels sympathetic joy for you, I would trust one more than the other on average

          • kindnesskills@literature.cafe
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            3 days ago

            [I’m not the one who originally commented]

            I wouldn’t know the difference.

            All I can know and judge on and care about is how they choose to respond, not how they feel.

            And I personally trust people who tell me of their ugly emotions (after we’ve been friends for a long time) more than the ones pretending to be perfect a decade into the friendship.

            • TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.worldOP
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              3 days ago

              But the people who genuinely don’t get jealous aren’t pretending to be perfect. The ones pretending to be perfect are the ones that do feel jealous and hide it.

              • Melobol@lemmy.ml
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                2 days ago

                Feelings if you don’t act up on is fine. Those are akin of invasive thoughts.
                The moment those snide remakrs start: who were you hanging out with? Why are you looking at them? I won’t talk to you if you are hanging out with them!
                Pure hell. So answering your question again: no jealous friend is a burdensome connection that infects your emotions with their insecurities and dependency.