People like to blame men for the failure/neglect of society, parents, teachers, etc., to teach them the things they’ll need to know as an adult. Generally regarding stuff that was conventionally ascribed as “women’s duties”: cooking, cleaning, decorating, etc.
People blame the individuals as if they’re supporting the patriarchy by not knowing the things that they were never taught. That’s missing the point, because these men were harmed by the patriarchy which neglected to teach them these important things.
It’s really hard to enter your twenties and become moderately independent and suddenly have to learn a hundred different things that are absolutely critical to a well-ordered life, that already come so naturally to people who have been doing it their entire lives that they hardly even think about it and look down on you for not just intuitively grasping everything you need to know.
But no, they see a young guy struggling with basic tasks like washing the bed sheets or hanging curtains or choosing a tasteful rug or not burning dinner or whatever, and they jump straight to “NOBODY IS GOING TO MOMMY YOU, GROW TF UP!!!” Because it’s sooo cool to attack a man who you find in a position of weakness because he’s struggling with tasks you deem basic.
If we could just break that stigma and make it okay for men to ask for help, they’d be able to learn what they need to a lot easier. At least the ones who try. Clearly the ones who don’t try and have no interest in trying are the problem, so why focus the ire on the ones who do try? Asking for help kinda skylines yourself and makes you vulnerable to attack, so I’m not surprised few people do it.
That would at least ease the transition for a generation or two until people who learn basic things as boys grow up and become men who don’t need to catch up on the things that the average 20yo woman has already been doing for over a decade…
Also of note, some of that can just be pure crippling ADHD too,
washing the bed sheets
Thanks for reminding me.
hanging curtains
Bought 'em 2y ago and they’re still in the box in a seldom used closet, keep forgetting about them until I see them but then I’m doing something and will have to get to it later, by “later” I’ve forgotten again. I’ll get to them later…
choosing a tasteful rug
This one might not be ADHD I just hate shopping for things, I get in and get out.
The worst part about burning food is it stinks the kitchen out for days. The last time I burnt some pasta (straight up forgot about it and went to bed) I seriously started looking at buying a ozone machine. But I would 100% definitely kill myself with that so in the end I just left all the windows open for a few days.
He clearly didn’t get the guidance he needed when he was younger, but he is trying and asking questions. He is on the right path.
People like to blame men for the failure/neglect of society, parents, teachers, etc., to teach them the things they’ll need to know as an adult. Generally regarding stuff that was conventionally ascribed as “women’s duties”: cooking, cleaning, decorating, etc.
People blame the individuals as if they’re supporting the patriarchy by not knowing the things that they were never taught. That’s missing the point, because these men were harmed by the patriarchy which neglected to teach them these important things.
It’s really hard to enter your twenties and become moderately independent and suddenly have to learn a hundred different things that are absolutely critical to a well-ordered life, that already come so naturally to people who have been doing it their entire lives that they hardly even think about it and look down on you for not just intuitively grasping everything you need to know.
But no, they see a young guy struggling with basic tasks like washing the bed sheets or hanging curtains or choosing a tasteful rug or not burning dinner or whatever, and they jump straight to “NOBODY IS GOING TO MOMMY YOU, GROW TF UP!!!” Because it’s sooo cool to attack a man who you find in a position of weakness because he’s struggling with tasks you deem basic.
If we could just break that stigma and make it okay for men to ask for help, they’d be able to learn what they need to a lot easier. At least the ones who try. Clearly the ones who don’t try and have no interest in trying are the problem, so why focus the ire on the ones who do try? Asking for help kinda skylines yourself and makes you vulnerable to attack, so I’m not surprised few people do it.
That would at least ease the transition for a generation or two until people who learn basic things as boys grow up and become men who don’t need to catch up on the things that the average 20yo woman has already been doing for over a decade…
Also of note, some of that can just be pure crippling ADHD too,
Thanks for reminding me.
Bought 'em 2y ago and they’re still in the box in a seldom used closet, keep forgetting about them until I see them but then I’m doing something and will have to get to it later, by “later” I’ve forgotten again. I’ll get to them later…
This one might not be ADHD I just hate shopping for things, I get in and get out.
OH SHIT MY PIZZA!
The worst part about burning food is it stinks the kitchen out for days. The last time I burnt some pasta (straight up forgot about it and went to bed) I seriously started looking at buying a ozone machine. But I would 100% definitely kill myself with that so in the end I just left all the windows open for a few days.
He also didn’t get the guidance here. Who says “I’m tweeting this”.
You help him, and then you tweet it privately…
I’m sure he helped him after taking the screenshot
Bold of you to assume this when clearly that hasn’t happened in the first 20 years of life