

I wish. If that were true, we wouldn’t have nasty-ass fire-safe cigarettes and they wouldn’t cost 15 bucks a pack. I could buy Macanudo cigars for a dollar. I could see Pornhub in Texas without having to sign up for an account. If they think it will protect the children, they’ll wipe Amazon clean off the map.

I was given some kind of gas once for surgery and I found it hard to breathe. I told the nurses around me that I thought I was having a panic attack and the anesthesiologist chuckled, “It’s okay. I’m giving you something for that.” Then I was out.