this is why the bible contains no mention of jesus driving a car or reciting the alphabet backwards

actually, many scholars today believe jesus most likely was purple, as a result of the water in his body being transmuted into wine. this is why in modern catholic tradition, wine is used to represent the blood of christ.

not currently

Hey now, let’s be clear. Stephen King did not have the clown defeated by a bunch of outcast youths gangbanging in a sewer. That’s just patently incorrect. Every single part. No, he had the ancient terror disguised as a clown temporarily banished by summoning an ancient turtle from the dawn of time and engaging It in a battle of wills. Completely different and, in fact, perfectly reasonable. Anyone that’s actually read the book knows the outcast youth sewer gangbang happens after that and actually has no bearing on the plot whatsoever. Stephen King’s not some freak writing a book where the entire plot hinges on a bunch of traumatized kids screwing each other to save the world, no; he’s a perfectly normal guy writing about a bunch of traumatized kids screwing each other for no reason at all. Bet you feel real silly now, huh?

Wow, right out the gate with the hard W, huh?