Nah, respectfully, I think you’re wrong. Or at least you and I don’t agree on what’s the funny part.
In the original the comic introduces the guy died, we learn about the tattoo, and then the joke is that Death is bashful or whatever. And the extra panel doesn’t really move that joke forward at all, or enhance it or build on it. It kinda undermines it by leaving us with a feeling of “none of that mattered though” rather than leaving us with the image of embarrassed Death. It’s still in there, but it’s no longer the final image that lingers.
But the thing I find interesting is that you’re not alone… I’ve seen jokes and comments before that I felt were just one panel, or one line, too long. We had the punch, and then there’s just something more after. And it’s happened enough I feel like it’s got to be like a “kind of person” or “sense of humour” rather than just “skilled vs unskilled”, you know?
Because your version does have a kind of subversion to it, a sort of second twist… but I think for me it’s a twist back to where we already were, so rather than feeling like it’s adding to the scenario, it instead feels like it’s unconfident in its punchline. Like the comic equivalent of asking someone out, but then hedging with “as a joke”, because you wouldn’t want to be seen taking a risk and failing. But by not sticking to your guns you’ve also weakened your initial pitch. In this case they made the joke that Death is excited and shy, that’s the bold premise, and the new panel instead says “but whatever though he’s still cool and unmoved and the same thing would have happened whether the guy had the tattoo or not, and the joke is actually that you’d think it would even matter nevermind”
Well, that’s my unsolicited critique! Sorry I just happened to read your comment while I had time and was feeling “typey” 😛
Nah, respectfully, I think you’re wrong. Or at least you and I don’t agree on what’s the funny part.
In the original the comic introduces the guy died, we learn about the tattoo, and then the joke is that Death is bashful or whatever. And the extra panel doesn’t really move that joke forward at all, or enhance it or build on it. It kinda undermines it by leaving us with a feeling of “none of that mattered though” rather than leaving us with the image of embarrassed Death. It’s still in there, but it’s no longer the final image that lingers.
But the thing I find interesting is that you’re not alone… I’ve seen jokes and comments before that I felt were just one panel, or one line, too long. We had the punch, and then there’s just something more after. And it’s happened enough I feel like it’s got to be like a “kind of person” or “sense of humour” rather than just “skilled vs unskilled”, you know?
Because your version does have a kind of subversion to it, a sort of second twist… but I think for me it’s a twist back to where we already were, so rather than feeling like it’s adding to the scenario, it instead feels like it’s unconfident in its punchline. Like the comic equivalent of asking someone out, but then hedging with “as a joke”, because you wouldn’t want to be seen taking a risk and failing. But by not sticking to your guns you’ve also weakened your initial pitch. In this case they made the joke that Death is excited and shy, that’s the bold premise, and the new panel instead says “but whatever though he’s still cool and unmoved and the same thing would have happened whether the guy had the tattoo or not, and the joke is actually that you’d think it would even matter nevermind”
Well, that’s my unsolicited critique! Sorry I just happened to read your comment while I had time and was feeling “typey” 😛
I knew it.
😛
Yeah, I think the artist executed this perfectly! 👌
I love it! 😂