Hello, I have a big problem that interferes with every aspect of my life. And I want to ask you all if you experience this too and/or you have any ideas on how to improve this behavior?

The Problem

When I do anything interesting, or anything that just isn’t completely boring, I can’t stop when it’s time to stop and start the doing the next thing. I always think, something like “Just five minutes more” and then I sometimes finish hours later than I had planned. This breaks all time-sensitive plans and also causes me to go to sleep far too late.

I don’t think that its simple procrastination, because what I feel when I do it, is not about not wanting to start the next thing, but about not wanting to stop the current thing.

List of things I already do / have already tried

  • Setting up alarms that remind me that I need to stop doing the current thing and start doing the next thing
  • Creating schedules
  • Configuring the Wifi Router to turn of at certain times: This is very effective (when I have taken out my SIM card before), but its only helping with cutting the wifi at the end of the day for bedtime, not other time sensitive tasks that are necessary to even enable me to sleep on time (like eating dinner early enough)
  • Buffer time: Most of the time I can’t get my self to view the buffer deadline as the actual deadline
  • Reading books about habits: I read some books about habits, but these books are mostly about starting an activity, or don’t starting an activity at all, but I need to do certain things, and stop doing them on time.
  • This list is probably incomplete
  • SorryImLate@piefed.social
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    14 hours ago

    My solutions for task switching depend on what the activities are. Is the issue that the current activity is that exciting, or that the new activity is that boring?

    Some examples of things that help me:

    1. When I can’t get off my phone, I switch the display from colour to greyscale, and about 15 minutes later it’s much easier to put the device down. NB make a shortcut so that it’s easy to change the colours without leaving the app you’re in.

    2. If an alarm is really important, I put the alarm clock on the other side of the room. Close enough that I can’t ignore it but far enough that I have to stand up and walk over to switch it off.

    3. I try to stop working before I have finished all my ideas. For example, if I’m writing a report, I stop at a point when I have e.g. finished a section and have ideas for the next section. I’ll jot down some keywords or make a list for the next section but I won’t flesh it out. That way, I can stop working because I know I’m not going to lose my ideas, plus starting again after lunch / the next working day is low pressure because I know what I’m going to do first.

    4. If I need to do housework, I might set a time limit and “race myself” i.e. see how much I can do in 10 minutes. This additional challenge means my brain is engaged in trying to find the fastest way to get stuff done, which it apparently enjoys ¯\(ツ)

    5. Another idea for starting something boring is to promise myself that I can stop at any time (and stick to it!). I might say, let’s just put this cup in the kitchen. Sometimes that’s all I can manage, and that’s OK. More often though, just getting a bit of momentum means I can do another step e.g. fetch the dirty dishes in the lounge, then wipe the counters, then unpack the dishwasher, then repack it, etc. Important is not to force myself beyond my limits, then my brain is less likely to resist the next time I decide to do just 1 small task.

    6. Sometimes it feels as if my body is stuck outside of my control. In that situation, I focus on intentionally moving just 1 body part, e.g. a little finger. Once I’ve managed that, I move all my fingers on that hand, then my hand, then both hands, etc. It sounds bizarre but generally that 1st focused movement is the hardest. Each next step is a bit easier until eventually I can stand up and move away.

    7. I combine activities to keep my brain sufficiently stimulated e.g. listen to a podcast or music while doing something repetitive. So when task switching, my 1st step is fun, deciding what I want to listen to.

    8. I try to avoid digital content that I identify as being addictive or very difficult to break out of. Natasha Dow Schüll defines what she calls the “ludic loop”, which is an activity that is solitary, doesn’t include natural breaks, doesn’t have a definite end, and has random rewards.

    Side note: For more information, I can recommend the 1st 2 episodes of the podcast “Your Undivided Attention”, in which she was interviewed. The episodes are " What happened in Vegas" and “Should’ve stayed in Vegas”.

    1. For really important tasks, set up a body double session in advance, with someone who will be upset if you don’t turn up.

    2. Finally, this trick is a bit hit-or-miss for me, but some people swear by it. ADHD’ers tend to be better able to do things for others than for ourselves. So it may help you to think about past you and future you as other people. In particular, it might help to think “I really need to do xyz for future me”. Sometimes I’m so grateful to past me, other times she’s a real 🤬

    Thank you for coming to my TED talk 😂 Hopefully you made it to the end and found something useful.

    • Da Oeuf@slrpnk.net
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      4 hours ago

      Man, number 4 on your list became my modus operandi many many years before I even heard about ADHD. I guess you could call it a spontaneous adaptation to how I am, or a coping mechanism. Either I do something in a massive intense (and usually stressful) rush, or I struggle to do it at all…