“Why do you have a face. You can’t be coming at me with a face”

“ old man grunt my body is full of bones… you can’t have any. I counted them and it’s like 200.*

“Why are you a dog”

“Why are you a little dog when you could’ve been a big dog”

And finally if no one upvotes this post I’m going to tell her shes a sausage. She became a sausage after my dad died because nobody walked her. She knows she a sausage she just doesn’t like being reminded.

But I’ll tell her she’s a sausage if I don’t get enough upvotes!

Bonus thing I say to my dog and it’s really out there:

Now, the behavior of Andrew Beckett’s employers may seem reasonable to you… but when they fired Andrew Beckett because he had AIDS, they broke the law.

Yeah. I’m kinda weird with my dog lol

  • Zier@fedia.io
    8·
    14 days ago

    A family member used to have a small dog that would get all excited if you used a happy voice, he thought he was getting something like a walk, treat or food. I used to say dumb stuff to him like, [in a super happy voice] “Are you stupid? Do you like being stupid? Are you the stupidest dog ever?” He would get so excited and it looked like he was agreeing with you. You could phrase anything in this voice & a happy face. “Do you like to fart?” “Do you want to kill the neighbors? Should we go kill the neighbors?” “Should we steal a car? A big car?” And many more unhinged things I don’t want to write here. He would eventually get a treat for being so entertaining.

    • BCsven@lemmy.ca
      11·
      14 days ago

      We had some Chihuahuas like that, it was only tone that they understood. And you could read a recipe and they’d be excited.

      Now though we have a rescue dog that knows the words. When she comes to my office she will make some random vocals to get my attention, I then run through the list of what she might want and have to watch her tail and chattiness for a response.

      What is it you want? Outside? …Nothing Call mom? …nothing Hungry? …maybe Fishy? …nothing Dental Bone?..nothing Sardine? …tail going crazy, lots of talking, and excited paws

      Note: not salty sardines for humans, but freeze dried ones for dogs.

      Call Mom? Is a popular one in the afternoon when she’s starts to miss my wife. I dial (obviously) and they chat over speaker or video call. She has also learned to say hello when my wife comes home.